Third day

Last night i went to see third day live in concert. They rocked. I wasn't as into it this time as i was last time (in 04) but they still rocked. I really enjoyed it. My ear 24hrs later is still ringing and kinda blocked! Anyway, Rog has uploaded his photos so here's the link if you wanna see.

http://picasaweb.google.com/theartfulone/ThirdDayConcert

And here's my fav photo from the night. The bass guitartist is very good looking... most likely married, but very good looking nonetheless. He's the one in the middle!

Here he is

Just got the photo of Carter Thomas so thought i'd post it. I have an issue... it's not been said that it was a boy i just assumed that Carter Thomas WAS a boys name. In one of the photos i received it is wearing a pink cap so i'm confused. Either the name is meant to be a girls name or they just put a pink cap on it (it was a 'just come to the world' photo so could happen)... I said something about it but i'm embarrassed...

4 in a month (and a bit)

I knew there were going to be lots of babies born in a reasonably short period of time but I didn’t expect 4 of the same sex in just over a month…

14/12/06 – Donna (my beauty therapist and neighbour) and John had a boy Jaiden James. I guessed that one right… (was due 24th Dec)

30/12/07 – Shelly (colleague/friend) and Dan had Jayden Neil. I guessed a boy. Photo below.

2/01/07 - Jeremiah Coby Price born to Ash (my ‘ex’ youth pastor) and Kate. I guessed a girl. (was due 14th Jan or around then). Photo below.

23/01/07 – Carter Thomas Ford (it sounds American doesn’t it!) born to Dustin (Customer/Supplier/Friend) and Ivy in HK (they are Texan…). No photos of this one yet! Was due 7th Feb. I guessed a girl.

AND there was another boy born to a colleague (that I don’t know very well) on Friday (19th).

Next up I believe is Jackie… Luckily she’s about 10wks off… so I get a break from baby shopping. And I’m guessing a boy for her… So far!

It’s kinda amazing to think not only have 4 (plus the rest I don’t know of) babies been born but the lives of so many ppl have been changed by their births and God has a plan and purpose for each one of these treasures…

What's in a name?

Have to make a small correction from yesterday, Emily Brown is now Emily Salonen (nee Brown). It's a natural reaction thing but i didn't want to offend Emily or Marko (her husband). Considering in highschool my nickname (by 99% of the class/school/community) was Scoble or a derivative (coz there was two Emily's) so i called her Brown (she was the only person i think i called by there last name, oh except Karch coz there were two Rachels) anyway, am i still allowed to call her brown now that she's married? She's still a Brown by blood... just not by marriage... hmmm. I don't want to loose my 'Scobleness' when i get married... that'd be like loosing my dad and my connection to him... but i'm sure not everyone feels like that! It's kinda interesting... How do you answer that? Who can answer that? Every person would be different...

Irony

I got the below post by email just before, and it just seemed so ironic after my earlier blog about feeling lost. It doesn't explain everything i feel but it says a lot.

Anyway, then i thought of this quote from Reality Bites (the movie) Emily Brown and I loved the quote. It is:

What's the definition of ironic anyway?

Its when the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the literal meaning.

Anyway, the connection is that the email was ironic- just incase you didn't get that! :)

God Said No

I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my friends handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; It isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares; And brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own! But I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said.. Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

THIS DAY IS YOURS DON'T THROW IT AWAY

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world"

"May the Lord Bless you and keep you,May the Lord Make his face shine upon you,And give you Peace..."

"Good friends are like stars.. You don't always see them, but you know they are always there”

Be warned - i'm lost

Why is it that no one seems to believe me when I say that i’ve got very little faith left, and when I am honest with them and tell them that I feel abandoned by God. Why do they continually come back and say ‘pray about it’ or ‘you know God hasn’t abandoned you’ or ‘maybe this is an opportunity to come closer to God’. Bullshit. I can’t pray about it. I know God won’t abandon me but it feels like he has… it’s the difference between knowing and feeling. How can I come closer to someone I can barely feel, imagine, speak to… I don’t know who God is anymore or how to have Him be apart of my life… how then do I grow closer to Him. One friend appreciated my honesty when I told them that all I had left was faith the God exists and He sent Jesus to die on the cross for me. I believe it but that’s all there is. It’s an empty faith.

After years of loving, supporting, strengthening, praying for ppl all they can offer me now is a ‘get over it’ or disbelief that I (Emily Scoble) could be this way… it sucks. Thru leaving the church I have lost my home, my family, my faith in people and my relationship with God. And yet the Bible says that God will leave the 99 to find me (the lost), if that’s true, and God hasn’t abandoned me and is looking for me, then where the heck is He?

Books and stuff

I’ve been trying to think of something interesting to say, but I can’t think of anything. How sad. I took some photos last night that I want to upload. But I haven’t had a chance to download them yet so can’t upload them! Was going to tell you the update on what I’ve been reading but I’ve forgotten what book I read between the cross and the switchblade and Kokoda…

I’ll remember when I get home… Anyway, I read ‘he’s just not that into you’, oh I just remembered I read the 5 love languages, which I think I’ve mentioned previously.

Anyway back to ‘he’s just not that into you’ I read that in 1 day during my holidays, I think every female on this planet should read it. It’s great. It didn’t relate to any of my current circumstances but I could relate to previous experiences and expect it to help in the future.

Now I’m reading ‘To kill a mockingbird’. I didn’t have to read it in school so thought I’d read it now for the enjoyment of it.
So that’s about it. That’s my update for the day. Nothing else exciting going on. Work. Finished summer school, have my exam next Friday. Mum’s moving out next Friday. Going out for dinner with Shaz on Friday night (this Friday). And going to planet shakers church this Sunday. There’s a good speaker on there this week so I’m excited…

Not such an independant woman!

I had a bad spider incident last week. It was HORRIBLE. I’m ok around daddy long legs and baby spiders, we get a log of the DLL’s and I cope with them, they don’t seem as scarey. So if they are not in my way (I had one in the shower this morning he didn’t survive!) then I let them live. Anyway, I was in bed last Thursday night, mum was down the island, I’d been at work til 9 so got home made an easy dinner and ate it in bed watching Oprah and Seventh Heaven that I taped that day. Was just starting to relax knowing there was only 15mins left of Oprah before I could fall asleep when all of a sudden a spider – huntsman about 6cm across (incl legs) – crawled out from behind my curtains. It was headed for the vent and who knows what else in the corner above my tall boy (where my clothes are). So I closed the drawers – tight. Then got the spray (v. quickly incase it disappeared) and sprayed until I was about to have an asthma attack. I waited but it started running again, so I sprayed again this happened a few times before it got behind the top of my curtain again and all I could see was the end of it’s legs over the top, it ventured over my side and I sprayed, I swear it was completely covered in spray – it was a weird grey colour. Anyway, silly thing went back behind the curtains and I could no longer see it. I shook the curtains and tried pulling them open a bit but couldn’t see it – I wasn’t willing to venture too far into the curtains – didn’t want to risk it falling on me. Anyway, I decided I couldn’t stay in my room until I knew it was gone/dead. So I picked up my pillow and ventured into mum’s room and slept in her bed – looking at every wall between our rooms – just incase there was another. I slept ok and the next night (mum was home this time) I checked for it again and I found it’s carcass. I felt kinda bad for it. But I can’t handle them… So from this experience I’ve decided that I need a man, or at least someone with enough balls to kill them or get rid of them for me. I’m happy for them not to be killed and to be just put outside but I ain’t gonna risk it! I can’t even bring myself to squash them! So I’m not as independent as I think I am.

The worst bit is I actually have one of those devices in my room that is meant to give a high pitched noise or something that scares them away… waste of money that was!

When I told mum she was impressed – she felt needed! **smiley**

Anyway, this was a horrible experience and I feel nauseous repeating it so I’m going to shut up!

WHP

Ok, finally I’m writing again. Sorry it’s taken so long. I keep thinking of things to write but it’s completely at the wrong time and then when I’m at my desk here at work or at home I completely forget what I was going to write about or it just doesn’t sound as good as it is meant to. Anyway, I have lots I could write about, but I want to bring ‘everyones’ attention to WHP (White Hat People). I’m a HUGE postsecret fan. Every Monday morning I will check the latest update and I’m trying to get a copy of the books they have released also. For those of you who haven’t heard of it check it out – the link is under my ‘links’. From that there is a new blog called White Hat People. It’s really interesting, the link is below and I really think you should all check it out if you haven’t already. I’m trying to organise with a friend who’s into both PS & WHP to go to the movies. I emailed him yesterday about the possibility of going last night and he called me back later saying a group of people were going to see A night in a museum or whatever. Anyway, I said no, I feel kinda guilty saying no to ppl when they invite me to stuff, but I had good reason – I think. Here’s the three reasons I decided on –

1. It doesn’t really sound like my kinda movie, originally I thought it was an action one then I remembered it had Ben Stiller in it and I just don’t have his humour… I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie of his that I’ve enjoyed…
2. After not hearing back from Ben during the day I had resigned myself to finishing my book – Kokoda – which I’ve been reading for a couple months now. I got it finished just before 11pm. It was an ok book (v interesting to learn some history) just very slow!
3. I’m not a big movie person, I’d rather spend the money and buy the DVD, but because of WHP I’d decided I would go sometime – thus I’d emailed Ben about going – but when I found out there was a group of ppl going it sorted defeated the purpose of WHP. I think anyway. Also, there was a person going that I’d REALLY rather not see. I don’t want to sound pathetic (too late?) but I’ve learnt how unimportant my friendship is to this person except when it suits them and I’m just not into that. Don’t have the energy for that kinda person. That’s one thing PNG taught me – not to bother with ppl unless they make the effort with me. There’s plenty more ppl out there who’d love to have me as a friend (not wanting to sound conceited but there is!)

My not going to the movies in the end made me want to go even more. I felt really alone last night. I’ve spent a lot of time at home lately doing stuff around the house and only accepting invitations when I wasn’t going to have to speak to ppl and every detail of the invitation suited me. So now I’m ostracising myself. Which is fine. Whatever. But for the last few years I’ve been keeping all these ppl outside the church at arms length coz I didn’t want them to have expectations of me which I’d disappoint, but now half of them are overseas. And those I have been close to during that time either I don’t want to deal with (refer above) or I don’t get a chance to see because I’m too picky with the invitations I accept. So I feel alone but I’m making myself be alone – does that make the loneliness any less real? It didn’t last night that’s for sure. So in the end I wished I had gone to the movie, taken my white hat and probably not enjoyed the movie but at least I’d would have felt a part of something – the WHP not the ppl I was there with…

http://thewhitehatpeople.blogspot.com/