All a bit strange...

I really should be going to bed now. I have training in the city for the new job i started last week. At a travel agency. I feel like one of THOSE people, this being the third job i've had this year, and its only April. But i plan on being at this one for a while (and i was on the first one this year for 5.5 years), thus for the next three days i'm going to sit through boring training (some may be interesting) and speed ahead through the work while others who have very little clue about computers and can't grasp the concept of - if you stuff it up it can be fixed - it may sound a little concepted of me but i've sat through enough of these types of training sessions to know what they are like. I don't see myself as a travel agent type, which is kinda making me uncomfortable with being in a room of people for three days who are all that type. I'll have to give you an update tomorrow night, once i know what its like.

Uni for the year is coming to a close. 2 HUGE assignments to submit in the next two weeks, then a test, then revision for the exam, which are over 2 weeks apart, some people might appreciate that amount of time, i don't, i want to get them over and done with!

It's kinda funny, i started this blog so i could be honest, with someone (something). I live my life only telling people a small part of who i am. Few (if any) people really know me. And if i continue on the path i'm on (and have been on for many years) then no one ever will. I've always had an excuse for being the way i am - i've changed schools many times, moved to PNG, moved back from PNG, and then was a leader at church (so needed to be their strength, and not show my own weakness). Now i'm nothing. I have few close friends (which I don't see as a bad thing at all - every friendship has a course to be run, i'm not a big fan of keeping people around just so i can say i have lots of friends) and no church home. I really have no excuse for not being honest. Now I think i'm just scared that people will see the real me, the one that i've kept hidden for so many years. And if they did see the real me then they wouldn't want to know me. Or maybe its because for so many years i've been who everyone needed me to be 'a tower of strength' completely created by God's strength. Now i don't have God's strength, and little of my own I don't want to admit to people my weakness, or even moreso, don't want to bother people with the goings on of my life because i understand how much others have going on in there's. Coming back to my point, i created this blog so hopefully i could break down some of the walls i had put up, be honest and open. But instead as i find out more people know about it and read it i'm scared of what i right... my blog is no longer faceless or nameless... i know you are there, and sometimes (i'm sorry for saying this) i wish you weren't...

The best sound ever...

I love my music (in itunes), I love listening to a solo clarinet or one doing a solo part in a bigger group, I love the sound of oboes and violins, I love the sound of my nieces and nephews laughing and giggling, I love the sound of some of my closest friends voices when I haven't spoken to them in ages, I love the sound of people speaking pigin, and I love silence - when you literally can not hear a noise. But the best sound ever has to be the sound of rain. I was watching a movie earlier, and I heard this wierd noise outside, something i hadn't heard in a long time, it sounded like something was gently hitting the roof and the concrete out the back. I didn't dare dream that it could be the one thing that I have been hoping for so much. Then when the movie was over and after the sound had come and gone a few times I stepped outside and there it was, joy oh joy, seriously, this was bliss for me! RAIN! It is magnificent. Since I have been able to hear it ongoing light fall for the last couple of hours and each time I listen for it I get excited again. If I weren't having a brilliant hair day (my hair didn't kink over last night at all! after my crappy straightening effort yesterday) then I would be out there standing in it soaking it up.

it's not just all the talk of the major drought we are in, but it's the fact that it's constantly dry... Having lived in Melbourne i'm so used to 4 seasons in one day, but that hasn't happened, i check the weather report regularly out of hope that it will say rain, and often it does so I dress a little warmer and am so disappointed when i step outside and am flooded by the light and warmth of the sun beating down on us... again.

I want to record the sound of the rain, maybe even bottle some of it, so when i start getting depressed about not having any i can make myself feel alot better.

It's quite a strange difference to reading Brown's blog and hearing about how much she wants to the snow and slush to go away... how i crave for that!

One Voice

I know it's been ages since i've written, i'll catch up soon i promise... maybe even this weekend! Have lots of news. Anyway, i downloaded some music a couple weeks ago (legally) and one of the songs is one i heard years ago on Oprah, i bought the CD in the states but it was stolen out of my car (feel kinda sorry for the kid that stole it) anyway, i listened to this song tonight for the first time in about 5 years and fell in love again so thought i'd give you the lyrics... here they are, it's One Voice by Billy Gillman:

Some kids have and some don't
And some of us are wondering why
Mom won't watch the news at night
There's too much stuff that's making her cry

We need some help
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard

A house, a yard, a neighborhood
Where you can ride your new bike to school
A kind of world where Mom and dad
Still believe in the golden rule

Life's not that simple
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard

One voice, one simple word
Hearts know what to say
One dream can change the world
Keep believing
Till you find a way

Yesterday while walking home
I saw some kid on newberry road
He pulled a pistol from his bag
And tossed it in the river below
Thanks for the help
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard
One voice was heard
One voice was heard

Makes me remember that my prayers are heard and those of the people praying for me...