2007 Australian Citizenship test

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term "died in the a*se"?
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2. What is a "bloody little beauty"?
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3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?___________________________________
4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relosrocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of aBex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her blockafter Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."
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5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey andAcca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume betweenflashing a brown eye and having a slash?___________________________
6. Complete the following sentences:a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother ...b) You're going home in the back of a ...c) Fair crack of the ...
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7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
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8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie? __________________________________
9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
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10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?__________________________________
11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
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12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam. __________________________________
13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?__________________________________
14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?__________________________________
15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
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16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
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17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots? __________________________________
18. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?__________________________________
19. Who would you like to crack on to?
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20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
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21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?_________________________________
22. What does "sinkin p*ss at a mates joint and getten para" mean?_________________________________

Close your eyes...

Why is it then we (I) are in a completely dark room we close our eyes. I get changed in the dark and i have my eyes shut, i went to the toilet in the dark (in the middle of the day) and i had my eyes shut... It's strange...

The email i was talking about.

Why The Lord Made Woman

By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts,all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands."
The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.""But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days." The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?" asked the angel. The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told youthat you were trying to put too much into this one.""That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!" "What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."

And she is!

Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to in justice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

Tears...

I've tried writing this before but stupidly closed the session before i'd finished... Anyway, as anyone who knows me knows i don't like to cry, well so i lie ppl to think, i actually find it really theraputic, but I DREAD doing it in front of ppl. I've been known to blatenly turn my back and walk away from ppl who are obviously just trying to help. Anyway, lately i'm been on a bit of an emotional roller-coaster, i'm definitely on the improve but i think there's still a bit further to go. Despite my not wanting to share the fact that i do actually cry a few times recently i've noticed a few things about tears...

There's this moment, when unexpectantly tears well up and it stings as your dry eyes are slowly made moist, it hurts, but it feels good, it doesn't happen all the time, but it can help make the tears all the more intense.

After crying for a bit, and letting them run down your cheeks go outside, let the wind blow on them, it's a distraction, but more so it feels nice...

It's all about experiencing the emotion. God gave us tears for some reason, it maybe because women leak (that'll make sense if you've read the email) or it could just be so that for those few moments (or however long you cry for) you are caught up in the moment, in that emotion and that seems like all of your world...

There was a third one, but i can't remember it. I promise to cry again soon so I can figure out what it was!