WHP

Ok, finally I’m writing again. Sorry it’s taken so long. I keep thinking of things to write but it’s completely at the wrong time and then when I’m at my desk here at work or at home I completely forget what I was going to write about or it just doesn’t sound as good as it is meant to. Anyway, I have lots I could write about, but I want to bring ‘everyones’ attention to WHP (White Hat People). I’m a HUGE postsecret fan. Every Monday morning I will check the latest update and I’m trying to get a copy of the books they have released also. For those of you who haven’t heard of it check it out – the link is under my ‘links’. From that there is a new blog called White Hat People. It’s really interesting, the link is below and I really think you should all check it out if you haven’t already. I’m trying to organise with a friend who’s into both PS & WHP to go to the movies. I emailed him yesterday about the possibility of going last night and he called me back later saying a group of people were going to see A night in a museum or whatever. Anyway, I said no, I feel kinda guilty saying no to ppl when they invite me to stuff, but I had good reason – I think. Here’s the three reasons I decided on –

1. It doesn’t really sound like my kinda movie, originally I thought it was an action one then I remembered it had Ben Stiller in it and I just don’t have his humour… I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie of his that I’ve enjoyed…
2. After not hearing back from Ben during the day I had resigned myself to finishing my book – Kokoda – which I’ve been reading for a couple months now. I got it finished just before 11pm. It was an ok book (v interesting to learn some history) just very slow!
3. I’m not a big movie person, I’d rather spend the money and buy the DVD, but because of WHP I’d decided I would go sometime – thus I’d emailed Ben about going – but when I found out there was a group of ppl going it sorted defeated the purpose of WHP. I think anyway. Also, there was a person going that I’d REALLY rather not see. I don’t want to sound pathetic (too late?) but I’ve learnt how unimportant my friendship is to this person except when it suits them and I’m just not into that. Don’t have the energy for that kinda person. That’s one thing PNG taught me – not to bother with ppl unless they make the effort with me. There’s plenty more ppl out there who’d love to have me as a friend (not wanting to sound conceited but there is!)

My not going to the movies in the end made me want to go even more. I felt really alone last night. I’ve spent a lot of time at home lately doing stuff around the house and only accepting invitations when I wasn’t going to have to speak to ppl and every detail of the invitation suited me. So now I’m ostracising myself. Which is fine. Whatever. But for the last few years I’ve been keeping all these ppl outside the church at arms length coz I didn’t want them to have expectations of me which I’d disappoint, but now half of them are overseas. And those I have been close to during that time either I don’t want to deal with (refer above) or I don’t get a chance to see because I’m too picky with the invitations I accept. So I feel alone but I’m making myself be alone – does that make the loneliness any less real? It didn’t last night that’s for sure. So in the end I wished I had gone to the movie, taken my white hat and probably not enjoyed the movie but at least I’d would have felt a part of something – the WHP not the ppl I was there with…

http://thewhitehatpeople.blogspot.com/