I'm going pink coz i'm being girly...

What is it in a female that makes her want affection? Do men feel it too? It’s a subtle feeling. For me it’s odd, people I know can get it from friends, but that’s not enough for me. I know I’ve been down this track too many times, and it’s not a nice one to go down. But how do you stop yourself wanting affection? If you do find a way how do you turn it back on again? And when you do turn it back on again how do you stop yourself from wanting too much? I’m not quite sure if it’s just affection I want or attention or what… too confusing. But I know I’m missing affection – that’s the one thing I’ve figured out. And the ‘back ups’ I’ve had previously are no longer around so I think I have a lesson to learn to get me out of this situation…

Off the topic, I got an email yesterday confirming that Steve Irwin became a Christian a couple weeks before his death… My worship pastor apparently verified it, but I still am not 100% sure if it is. I guess I, along with many other Christians, would like to believe it is. And if it is, how much does it prove how awesome God’s timing is… even in the things we see as bad…

How morbid of me...

I’m a bit spaced out today, partly coz I had a mid-sem test last night, and an assignment due this morning. Plus I slept in my nieces room last night and she’s learning how to wake up lots during the night. I’ll have to find a good photo of her and update my photos as well as put it on here. She is beautiful (as are all my nieces and nephews – but I’m biased!!!).

Anyway, it’s been a kinda weird week. I had a crazy week last week anyway (do I say that a lot?) it was really a crazy week. God blessed me on Wednesday night coz I trusted in Him – funny that. I won’t go thru details unless you really want to hear… I started getting sick by the end of the week, but luckily the cold and flu tablets I’m taking are working extremely well. The main thing that has been weird for me in the last week is death… Last Monday Steve Irwin died – like you don’t already know that, and although he made mistakes (don’t we all!!!) he was a nice guy, good for Australian tourism and just a good Aussie bloke (even if his accent was a little full on). Then Brocky died on Friday and although I think he’s a good guy I guess that wasn’t a big of a shock, or maybe it was coz it came in the wake of Steve Irwin’s death. I feel REALLY bad for Steve’s (hah, I’m acting like he was a personal friend!) kids, they were soooo young. And having lost my dad at a young age I guess I know what it’s like. The only thing I can say about both of their deaths is – at least they were doing what they loved. What an awesome way to go. And if we think of that in light of the 5th anniversary yesterday of September 11 (we say 11/9 so I can’t say 9/11 that’d be the day before my birthday!) then how tragic that those people died in such a way. If I had a choice to die doing what I do now or doing a job that I loved I know what I’d choose… so why do I still come into this office everyday? Coz I reckon this is where God wants me, but why does He want me here? I wish I knew. It’s not like I’m making a big difference in anyone’s life, except giving them more technology. Yesterday I got an email which as a few word summary said satan was the reason for technology – his attempt at keeping us away from God. Which in the context of the email made sense (it sounds a little dramatic put the way I put it). So am I doing more worse than good by completing my job? Ok, maybe that’s a little extreme. But if I had to die tomorrow, what would be my biggest disappointment??? Wasting 6yrs at a job I don’t have a passion for…

Romans 8:28

"Yumi save, God I save mekim olgeta samting I wok wantaim long mekim gut long ol man I save givim bel bilong ol long God." Rom 8:28

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

(there’s a slight translation difference (as in bible translation not language translation) but it’s close enough). I have this up in my lounge room and thought of it randomly today… I think God was trying to tell me something…

Review of a week

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I kinda wish I had something interesting to say. But I don’t. Things in my life are moving along. I’m almost done my Sweden assignment. We have the presentation on Tuesday. Last night was Alana’s 25th, I’d been organizing that, so I was really glad when it was over and I could not worry about it anymore. We have another big gigg next week. It’s going to be on sharing. I’ve worked out a couple things to help it move along. It’s pretty much been decided that when mum moves out at the end of the year Shaz will move in with me. I’m really looking forward to this. I couldn’t imagine anyone I’d rather live with more. And I’m going to be allowed to do stuff up around the house, which is REALLY exciting although I’ve got to make sure I don’t spend too much money on it. J On Sunday I got to see Tony Campolo speak. The woship was pretty crap (I’m sorry but it was) but he was great as expected. I swear I could listen to him for hours on end and never get enough. I so have to get one of his DVD’s… or several…

I guess not much else is happening around the traps. Works been reasonably busy. I went to a focus group thing for uni on Tuesday night. That was interesting, I came out of it thinking I had been really negative, but there was one girl who was very outspoken and negative and a guy that was really outspoken, and then another guy who just sounded like a fool just coz from who he is he really shouldn’t have been there, he had nothing to contribute. So at least I wasn’t like any of them. I was just in the middle. It was kinda interesting to hear other peoples opinions of stuff at uni and how all these different people work/live.

Oh, incase you are interested my latest book is – 90minutes in heaven… It’s pretty good so far. Only up to chapter 5 or 6…