From Monday (06/11/06):

I’m in a bit of a weird mood today. When did it start??? Hmmm… the mood itself only started this morning, probably not long after I got into work. I can’t really explain what type of mood it is. I’m a little grumpy (work related), tired (was studying late last night), emotional (think mostly coz of Nai’s wedding on Monday) and just generally not feeling great mentally. Healthwise I feel fine…

I had a weird dream last night. I think I might have got a bit too friendly with a close friend of mine (who is male and gay) but then I’m not sure! I remember he was there and I know we were close, but I’m like that with all of those guys, just not sure if in the dream we crossed any lines of friendship… That’s just got me frustrated this morning. But at the same time I don’t want to know anything more… just in case!

I went to Nai’s wedding on Monday, she was beautiful! So were the bridesmaids. The day in general just went really well, normally after a wedding you have a few things you could say that didn’t go so well, but none of that really happened. I think the worst that happened was she was really nervous but she got over that reasonably quickly. Everyone seemed to have fun and it was just lovely… Renee was a great bride, when I spoke to her she was really relaxed in the days leading up and the bridesmaid’s said she was really relaxed when getting ready and stuff on the day. I got a bit emotional at one point during the ceremony, and then later on during the reception. I think it had a lot to do with being so happy for her/them, and also I realized for the first time just how much they loved each other. That sounds kinda silly but because of the relationship Nai and I have I knew of all the bad stuff (well a lot of it anyway) that happened between them, and sometimes I heard about the nice things they did and stuff but I had never seen them really in love. But on Monday, I could just tell, just by the little things they did. It was so nice, and it also made me a little jealous that she had found the love that’ll last a lifetime… and I’m still single (or should that be single again?)… But in no way does that jealousy or whatever it is outweigh my happiness for her… It’s kinda cool how we find out how others show love, I would have thought I’d be really frustrated if I were Nai at how he didn’t really show it, but he just didn’t show it the way I’d want him too, she’s secure in his love and that’s awesome…