I'm not needed!!!

I’ve been thrown for 6 this morning… I had a late night last night which doesn’t help (man am I tired). And then this morning my youth pastor Ash told me he thinks I should leave in a few weeks. Altho I gave him the option – between me leaving in December and leaving in mid March I’m shocked/scared because he said December which means within weeks I’ll no longer have a church family, and no longer have that security… why was I ok about it until now?

There’s other stuff going on behind the scenes, which I don’t feel right writing about here. But I’m just completely stuffed now. My brain doesn’t want to function. It’s like he’s hurt me by doing what I wanted!?! Maybe I thought I was irreplaceable, indispensable, or needed or something… Guess I’m not as good as I thought I was!